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Ownership: Creating a Base of Intention

Owning our thoughts, emotions, behaviors and the reasons we have them is an important aspect of creating a base of intention.

There is the saying, tired of being sick and tired. It refers to the point at which we tire of the repetition of being immersed in an experience, be it a physical condition, emotional state, thought pattern, or reliving a situation over and over again reinvented with new people or situations that have become a pattern. We bring in new people, new drama, new health crises, and new jobs, that recreated a similar story to what has previously occurred. When we truly tire of the repetition and are serious about creating a change for our betterment we harness the power of intention.

Ownership of the patterns we repeat is critical. Without ownership, there is the absence of responsibility, and without responsibility, we are unable to fully embrace the motives which have led us on the wild goose chase of repetition.

Ownership is most beneficial when conducted from a place of self-honesty and love. When we acknowledge our patterns and the reasons we have them and do so in the mindset of guilt, blame, or self-punishment then we defeat the intention to produce positive self-change and harness the full power of our intention.

Being a loving observer of our patterns and the reasons why we created them enables us to dive into transformation with the goal of obtaining genuine understanding. To do so, we approach ourselves as we would a respected and loved friend who is experiencing a challenging situation; with compassion and kindness, and we bestow love instead of judgment and harshness. When we approach ourselves in this way we begin to reveal more of our true thoughts and emotions to ourselves. We then feel safe admitting to ourselves what we have sought to learn by experiencing our pattern, as well as the ways to learn, integrate, and create healing that will cease the need to repeat the pattern.

I share an example of my recent process. For more than a month I had avoided completing a project that I was working on with Divinity and The Gathering. They had completed their part and it was my job to write and send a letter to a specific person and request their endorsement of the project. Outwardly I felt excited and busied myself creating the letter, however as the days turned into weeks I noticed that I often felt tired, had difficulty focusing, and experienced interruptions (which I allowed) when it came time to complete the letter.

As the deadline that the guides had given me approached I told myself that I would complete the letter. However, I began to notice that when I wasn't working on the letter it seemed it was an easy task to complete, yet time and again as I sat to type, the interruptions would begin.

As the deadline neared, I began to fret. Would I make the deadline? And what if I didn't? Was I blowing an opportunity? I found myself thinking, "What if I do nothing and don't move forward, just as I had done years before?" These thoughts and others of similar nature cycled through me and I remembered other times I had repeated the pattern of self-sabotage.

Aware that I was repeating a pattern, coupled with my determination to move forward, I reflected as the observer and revisited similar experiences from my past with honesty and freedom from judgment. Doing this enabled me to see myself with greater clarity. I prefer to process personal issues and their solutions by writing. Grabbing a pen and journal I wrote,

"I am procrastinating, stalling on completing the letter and mailing it. I had been afraid that:

  1. It (the project) isn't very good

  2. I'll be laughed at for thinking that it is any good, unique, special, or important

  3. That I, and the project, will be rejected

  4. That our work won't be seen as worthwhile

  5. That the project will be viewed as everything in it has been said before by someone else"

I then reflected on these thoughts with loving kindness and acceptance, free of harshness. I recognized that for weeks I had attempted to not recognize, own them, speak with the part of me that was procrastinating, or create understanding and solutions. I had attempted to derail my focus and push recognition away by busying myself with work, other projects, television, and food. I also admitted to myself that the energy spent to avoid what I was thinking and feeling had caused me to feel exhausted, sick to my stomach, and experience headaches, all while avoiding ownership of my underlying thoughts and feelings.

Moving through the process I realized something that I had learned many times before, the fear of facing myself and the avoidance that I use is always more challenging than acceptance and ownership of my genuine thoughts, feelings, and the reasons behind them, regardless of the subject matter. One would think I would have remembered something so valuable, however, forgetfulness is common with patterned behavior. Without the clear intent to remember and to do differently by putting a plan of action in place, we set ourselves to repeat the lesson.

With reflection, I wrote:

"In looking at myself - my thoughts, worry, overeating, and procrastination - I see how I have not accepted that the work is from Divinity and the masters. I have not trusted them or myself, and I had viewed the project and their words as extensions of myself rather than from them. I was about to write, "It is one thing to doubt myself and another to doubt and not trust them", however, it was followed with the realization that they are the same because all is One. When I devalue myself I devalue the Oneness, Source, and the energy vibration created by my behavior and thoughts ripples to affect all. It adds to the misconception of separation."

Through this process of honest reflection and ownership, I acknowledged that I was repeating a pattern of self-defeat and belittlement. By working through my emotions and thoughts and seeing them written, I was able to recenter myself and set my intention on what I am determined to achieve. I then created a plan of action that included maintaining self-awareness and tools to help me remain on track to achieve my goal.

Overcoming patterned behavior is a process. Have patience with yourself and if you notice that you have slipped back into the patterned behavior or situation, then when you notice, take the steps to acknowledge and reset your intention by using this or a similar process. By harnessing and sticking with your intention, you will achieve your goals.

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